how dumb are new years resolutions. pretty dumb. they seem to stem simply from deficiencies or abundances that shouldn’t be in our flesh. setting up these “laws”? if i may, guarantee failure. instead of concentrating on our failures and fixing them on our own, why not attempt to understand the love that Jesus has for us. how he created us to be in relationship, and fixing ourselves on our own is not a good plan and not possible.
three parts - body, soul, mind. when setting out to fix the body without understanding the perfection of the soul through Christ, and without the steadfastness of the mind, we are doomed.
resolve to know this
1. KNOW God loves you.
2. I am powerless to do good on my own — God alone is Good.
3. To know the voice of God and to know Him…this comes through pray and searching out his Word.
it’s a new year. i’m checking my new years resolution and where my heart is. do i want to fix this flesh crap on my own, or live daily knowing that it was crucified, and the righteousness that Christ imputed to me is final. Jesus, help my mind to accept the beauty of my soul, and my body to reflect it in my everyday actions.
i hold my hands open to Jesus all the time, yet sometimes i realize that i have super-glued that “surrendered” thing into my hands. crap. Jesus, the gentle daddy that he is, looks at me, says “thank you soo much karen for opening your hands up, now it’s gonna hurt a little bit for me to get this thing out of here, but i care so much more about you and this “surrendered thing” than you ever can, and my plans are so much better, i promise. this is gonna hurt, and there is going to be a healing time, because torn skin hurts, but healing comes and takes time. i promise i make all things new. i promise healing is in my hands, i promise that you are doing a really good job. now just continue to keep your hands open, and i got the rest covered. i love you so much”
this happens a lot. the things i most want and need to surrender i have super glued into my wide open hands. crap. but my Papa knows that it needs to be his so gently, ever so gently takes it out of my hands, and teaches me to let my hands heal.
this healing affects every part of my life, just as a movement of any finger moves the skin on the center of my hand, but all in all, wow, he is a great healer.
coming to Jesus with my surrendered hands, i know that he is not mad or angry, but saying come lean against me while this heals, whichever way you go, whether to the left or the right, I AM there whispering in your ear which way to go. trust me. surrender to me. let me show you things you never imagined, let me love you deeper than you have ever been loved.
so here i stand, in this little stream of his water, dancing. he says the more you surrender the more water, with much light comes much responsibility. he wants to give. :)
when the night is dark and my nerves are shattered;
when the waves break over the side.
when my strength is gone, and the darkness just gets darker, i will look into Your eyes.
Infinity Speaks. God Almighty shares the depths of his feelings for me.
Infinity Speaks. God Almighty shares his love for me.
i will stand on this deck and stand with arms wide open wide to the truth of my Belovedness.
i will be caught up in this reckless raging fury He calls love.
fear is a powerful thing. it affects every area of our life whether we admit it or not. i have learned to start admitting it. speaking out fears to others, whatever they may be, releases them and takes away satan’s power to use them against us. hiding them, surrenders control to the devil.
faith or fear. little fears are just as big as big scary fears. little fears are the ones that we don’t say, that are ingrained in us, ignited by broken identities and not knowing who we truly are. choosing faith over fear means trusting Jesus knows. trusting that he can handle our fears. that he has already been there and loves us in our fears.
as believers we are sons and daughters of a KING. i have lived as a pauper for a lot of my life. letting little fears tell me that no one would ever want to marry me, that He will cant provide, and that i simply am not pretty. these are fears rooted in torn identity. they are false. lies that i have kept inside and have grown because i have let them. i have not spoken them out as fears and lies.
speak out fears, live in faith, and let Him be in control and tell you who you are.
His beloved. wake up to His love. there is no fear, just simple freedom from fear.
“my love is a light driving away all of your fear. so don’t be afraid, remember i made a promise to keep you safe.”
well, i decided to start blogging; not that i have time to blog, or really feel as if anything i say makes sense, but we will see what Abba can do through me in a blog. honestly, i have never wanted to write for others to read, just journal to Jesus, so i want to just share my heart in a weird way. not tell you about my days, or the latest cool idea, or even mention politics, but just share the Jesus in me.
for starters, i am in a rather different place in my life than i have ever been. this is not bad, not expected, but right where i’m supposed to be. Jesus is teaching me brokenness. brokenness consists of humility, tears, truth (or confronting lies), and the scariest of all, vulnerability.
i am in a desert. this was shared to me by a dear friend, a male, in whom i did not want to share any part of my life that was not good with. in all my pride i went to meet with him about all the important things i needed to say about this and that. i had a list nicely organized in my head and got to his room and listed off quite nicely what i had rehearsed. he listened. his first words were “so karen, what is really going on in your life?” i was broken. i shared all these things i had been struggling with, what Jesus had been teaching me, and how afraid i was. i am in a desert. i am a formless and empty earth (gen. 1:2) in which the Holy Spirit is hovering and forming and molding. i am in the best place.
this is not a bad thing, but something i am in a love/hate relationship with. humbled yet joyful. thanks Papa.
“you are discovering what it means to be poor in spirit. it’s ok not to be ok.” Brother Dominique Voillaume
i just read brennan mannings book, all is grace, yes i should have been doing homework, but it reminded me of the beauty of being broken, the necessity of it. a man who understood that the only thing worth anything is that “God loves us just as we are-not as we should be.”
-all is grace-